We’re covering how you can deal with them better yourself but also how you can help others move past the frustration they’re currently facing or sharing with you and be able to start feeling the way they want to feel or at least moving forward without that level of frustration.
When I look at the people I talk to on a daily basis, some of them being clients, who are dealing with things within their business or they’re new entrepreneurs who are inquiring about our program and diving into what’s happening in their business and where they are in their lives compared to where they want to be, one of the top things that always comes up is this word – “frustration” and the emotion of frustration coming through their voice as they’re explaining to me what has either happened in their business, or what is currently happening, and how they’re so frustrated by it.
I want to dive in today and give you a few different perspective switches, a few thought processes that you can start taking, adapting yourself and then adopting as a different way to approach frustration and be able to move past it or not even have it affect you in any way shape or form.
Now the number one reason why almost every single person has feelings of frustration or experiences the emotion of being frustrated is that there’s a whole lot of emotions attached to it, and it comes down to the first of my points – expectations.
Our expectations are the way we think something will or won’t work, how it will or won’t happen, the type of result we will get, the timeframe in which we will be able to or should be able to achieve it from modelling other people and how they did it, how long it took them or how well they did.
We attach all these different expectations to something and when that something doesn’t match up with our expectations we feel frustrated and disappointed.
The worst part about a lot of that is that you end up internalizing so much of it that you take it out on yourself, your level of confidence and self worth. Then you end up taking it out on the people around you because you were so frustrated.
What I want you to realize is that 90%, if not more of the time, those expectations were never yours. I want you to follow me here. They were never yours. There were expectations that you had heard, seen, modeled and adopted from your parents, partners, colleagues etc. but they were never your thoughts.
When when you boil it down it always comes down to this one question I ask people all the time especially around timeframe:
How long would you have to keep doing what you’re doing to end up with a million dollars a month?
Or would you have to change the way that you are doing things? If you had to change the way you’re doing things how long would you keep working on that until you ended up with a million dollars a month.
Now a million dollars a month is not the goal, it’s just giving somebody something tangible to focus on, it’s some sort of an outcome. When you think about it and you answer that question yourself whether it’s money or how long would you work for, how long would you do this until you never had to go to work again? Until you had complete and total freedom. How long?
Most of the time people would say “there is no time frame I would keep working until I get there.” It’s like saying how long will we give our kids to walk, I mean would we start giving them to 12 months old and if they don’t walk by then say “Oh, This one’s a dud. He’s not going to work. We’ll forget about it.” Of course not!
What we do is we keep encouraging them, we keep helping them and we keep giving them as much time as they need until they can walk.
So a lot of these expectations that you’re putting on certain timeframes or outcomes don’t even connect back to what it is that you really want. They’re just these perceived expectations that we’ve adopted that we place on things and then we get frustrated when our perception isn’t the reality that we ended up achieving.
You’ve got to try and take that into context because it’s the first place where most people get frustrated and it’s often where they stay stuck.
The next thing to dive into, and it’s very much in line with expectations are our assumptions. OK. Everyone knows the definition of an assumption I hope: It makes an ASS out of you and me.
I always like that quote because it’s nice and simple plus easy to remember.
We assume that sometimes something is going to be done a certain way either by ourselves or by others and when it doesn’t happen we get frustrated. I know you can relate to this and connect with it and I bet you have your own example if not multiple where you thought somebody was going to do something a certain way.
You thought they would respond a certain way, you thought that they would think about something in the same way that you would think about it. They didn’t.
You got frustrated. You changed how you were to them.
But yet in the entire process, you’ve never even had a conversation with each other. Never.
Maybe a text message here and there or you saw something on Facebook. I’ve had people reach out to me and say “I’ve seen you doing X Y and Z, you have blah blah blah.” And I’m like you why didn’t you just talk to me. Why didn’t you just ask me the question?
I don’t know what your expectations are so don’t assume mine are the same.
This happens in relationships, it happens in partnerships and business with clientele, with anybody really. We can’t place our assumptions on a certain thing and our expectations on anybody else.
Without communication, without gaining that feedback or getting that knowledge you assume something and you get frustrated because you’ve assumed something means something and you’re frustrated that this person approached the situation in this way with you. Now you’re pissed off and you change your entire being, your whole day is ruined, you’re distracted and you’re consumed mentally with thinking about how did that person do that. Why did they do that? What were they thinking?
You replay old conversations things that might have happened that led them to do that. But that is your assumption and your frustration is all the bullshit that you attach to it.
I know you know what I mean and I know you’ve experienced it. Don’t deny it. Everybody has – me included multiple times.
My wife and I were away from each other for months when we made the move from Australia to America and it was tough. My wife and I spent every single day together we train together and we hang out together because if I want to be with anyone I want to be with her. People don’t get that but it’s how we work.
We’re better the more time we spent together and it was so hard when we were apart. I’d get to the weekends and I’d get sad and my sad mind thought maybe she should be feeling that sad and she should be telling me how much she’s missing me and she should be responding quickly to my messages etc etc. I made all these assumptions and then when she didn’t do what I thought she should or would do I was getting frustrated and then I was taking my frustration out on her when at the end of the day she was just busy. She had shit to do and she wasn’t able to get back to me. But my assumption turned into frustration very quickly and then it changed the way that I reacted to her.
That’s the biggest thing in this entire process. It’s just what it is, right.
It’s either is an expectation or an assumption. If you can’t gain awareness around that and you’re constantly reacting to it you’re going to spend a lot of your time in reaction mode, you’re gonna spend a lot of your time distracted and emotional because you’re allowing these things to dictate your reactions, to even dictate the way that you feel and what you get done on a daily basis.
So just try and take awareness around at least those first two things.
To make sure you see what’s coming next and to get a ton of free resources and training just come on over and join our community of entrepreneurs who all love changing lives and are seeking the freedom lifestyle in my Facebook group where I post everything first, you can join here for free.
I look forward to connecting with you there.